It's okay to be opinionated.
IF you have good research and listening skills, know how to express your arguments tactfully, succinctly, and elegantly, and know when to keep your peace.
Having research skills, and putting them to use, reinforces your opinions with (at least some) facts.
Listening skills helps you to make sense of what other people are saying and not saying.
Being able to express your arguments well not only keeps you from turning your argument into an unnecessarily long rant, it also helps others keep track of what you're saying.
You may even convince a few.
Finally, knowing when to yield ground, when not to belabour dead ends, and when to just let things slide, keeps you from becoming too uptight, and keeps your relationships intact.
Please don't become that contrary, obnoxious person who butts into everyone's conversations and doesn't know when to shut up or concede.
Sometimes, keeping it light is the smarter way to go.
But hey, that's just my opinion.
Is the 10,000 Hour Rule Something To Keep Track Of? I'm Not So Sure.
The 10,000-hour rule.
Popularised by author Malcolm Gladwell in his book 'Outliers', I suddenly saw it being mentioned everywhere. You've likely heard of it, too.
If I recall correctly, it's also splashed out over a wall in our Lifelong Learning Institute (LLI) building (in Singapore).
When I first heard of it, my immediate response was to think about something I was good at (or, at least, thought I was good at), and estimate-calculate the number of hours I'd put into it.
And...
I didn't quite hit 10,000 hours.
Did that mean that I wasn't really good at it?
I couldn't tell for sure, of course, and I didn't really want to go around asking whether I was good at teaching.
That seemed embarrassingly self-indulgent.
So, instead of wondering, I decided to double down on getting even better at it and, some time later, I started getting more and more positive comments and feedback about my style of teaching and my delivery skills.
I've stopped counting the hours.
Not because I think "I've arrived", but because teaching is something that I love to do and I've been consciously and purposefully testing methods and techniques over the many years I've been doing it.
Even if I'm not yet a "master" (by I-don't-know-whose standards), I'm certainly better than I was 15 years ago.
And that is good enough for me.
Why Are We So Easily Influenced? It May Have To Do With the Cultures We Grew Up In.
We're all highly susceptible to influence.
Why? Because we are social and self-preserving. We don't just do best in community, we actively need and seek it out.
Thus, it's no wonder that we want to be part of a community.
And to fit in that community, we take cues of behaviour and mindsets from others around us, especially those who are respected or, at least, somehow elevated in the community.
Since this is all hardwired into us, and we've been picking up cues since we were born, we get really good at it. Practically an instinct.
Which means that it's also impossible to be free of influences.
What I learned is:
The first thought that enters our heads is a result of external influences, whether it's upbringing, culture, the people I hang around with the most, etc.
We can call this programming, conditioning, internalisation, or what we like, but it's kind of in-built and very difficult to override.
What's really important is what we do, say, and/or think after that first thought appears.
That is what makes us who we are.
Debunking Rubbish Advice on the Internet: Find Three Hobbies You Love
You've probably seen this quote, or some variant of it:
Find three hobbies you love:
One that makes you money,
One to keep you in shape,
One that keeps you creative.
I think this quote is complete and utter rubbish.
Let's have a definition:
A hobby is an activity, usually regular, that is done for enjoyment, typically during leisure times. It's not done professionally, and not for pay.
I didn't come up with this. It's on Wikipedia.
So, first "suggested hobby" first:
Just because you love something, doesn't mean you have to make money from it, much less turn it into a business.
Often, especially if it's a "creative" hobby, having to please a client is a quick way to killing your enthusiasm for it.
I love photography. I got good at it.
I started to get hired to do photography.
I hated being a hired photographer.
I went back to being a hobbyist.
Obviously, some people are going to enjoy the process of making a business out of what they love.
And some people DO make good money out of the things they love.
But to suggest that a hobby should make you money?
That's garbage advice.
Why does everything have to be monetised and tainted with commercialism?
Let people enjoy what they enjoy, and leave them alone.
On to the second "suggested hobby".
There are a few people who love to exercise, but the vast majority of people hate it.
Suggesting that someone should enjoy exercise when they don't doesn't make them want to do it more.
It likely pushes them the other way, into thinking, "Oh, so if I don't enjoy it, maybe I shouldn't do it anymore."
That's counter-productive.
You want more people to stay healthy and fit?
Just be upfront about it. Exercise is hard. It takes effort. It takes energy. But the benefits are tremendous. Push the benefits.
Stop telling people that it should be a hobby - something that they enjoy - when they don't.
Finally, the third "suggested hobby".
Alright, this one is still marginally palatable.
But hey, you can't give three out of three total BS tips, right? One of them has to be something people will generally agree with.
And putting the "most true one" last makes it more likely that people will respond to it and somewhat agree with the other garbage tips.
The best lies always have a kernel of truth in them.
That said, not every hobby has to be a "creative" one.
If I like to watch birds, I'm not exactly creating anything. But it doesn't make it any less of a hobby than, let's say, pottery or sculpting.
So, even though this last point is better than the other two, it's still one-dimensional and pretty rubbish.
What's my point?
Ignore these "productivity gurus" that have to make everything about productivity and money, as if these are the end all and be all's of life.
Life is WAY more than that.
Enjoy your hobbies for what they are, in the exact way that you like them.
Have an excellent week ahead!
