quit

I Had Hangups About Posting Online and Making Myself Visible. I Got Over Some of Them by Quitting Social Media.

"But I don't want to Hao Lian!*"

When I first learned about "building a personal brand" and "being visible online", this was the first thought that popped in my head.

*hao4 lian4 is a Teochew term used to describe a braggart, show-off, or someone who is unashamedly self-indulgent.

Growing up in an East Asian-influenced culture, Confucian ideals were infused into my behavioural expectations.

A key ideal in Confucian thought is that of humility. Clambering for attention and status are seen as dishonourable and crass behaviours. Above all, it is a cause for loss of ‘face’.

You can imagine how this would lead to me thinking that putting myself out there is no different from blowing my own trumpet, singing my own praises, proclaiming myself from the rooftops… you get the idea.

It wasn’t a desirable thing to do.

And when I examined a little more, I realised that I viewed people who were constantly clamouring for visibility in a low light.

I didn’t want to be like them.

Hence the resistance to making myself more visible online.

Now, obviously, the fact that you’re reading this suggests that something must have changed.

And something did.

I stopped all online activity for over a year.

Truth be told, I didn’t miss it.

Instead of agonising over what to post or what to show, I spent more time listening and reading.

Serendipitously, some of them discussed this topic, about being visible.

And I slowly started to see it in a different light.

What I used to think was “shameless self-promotion” and “narcissism” doesn’t need to be, as long as the intention is purposeful and useful to others.

Sure, there’ll always be people who take it wrongly, but that’s true of anything - whether expressed online or offline.

I started to see that letting others know what I know and offering information is helpful to them. It’s not about promoting myself and my views (though there is an unavoidable element of this in all public expression), it’s about sharing what I have.

Most people are clever enough to figure out the motivations behind your post, and if you share with good intentions, it’s better (and easier) to let them decide for themselves whether they want to read it.

So here we are.

It’s your decision.