1) Introverts enjoy socialising – just with fewer people and for shorter durations.
Introverts aren’t shy and they don’t dislike people. They simply generate energy by being on their own, the complete opposite of extroverts, who become energised when they are around other people.
Because introverts get drained when socialising, they slowly lose the ability to filter out excess external stimuli and, consequently, become less and less engaged as they tire out. This has the effect of making them seem quieter and quieter as the date goes on.
To counteract this, bring your date away from the bustling crowds and let them recharge somewhere quiet and relaxing. Give them some space and time to be quiet and they’ll be better soon, with the added bonus of them being grateful for your understanding..
2) Introverts do better in quieter, less crowded environments.
Introverts are more sensitive to environmental stimuli. As such, they can get overwhelmed when subject to noise, bright lights and too many people.
Plan dates with introverts in less crowded venues, where they won’t have to jostle with others or listen to loud chatter.
If you are planning to bring them somewhere stimulating, like a carnival, large festival or party, let them decide when it’s time to leave. When they do exercise the option, leave with them promptly.
3) Introverts prefer deep discussions to casual talk
One of the pet peeves of introverts everywhere is small talk. They find it tedious, boring and useless for the purposes of getting to know someone better. At best, they put up with it but few, if any, enjoy it.
Once you’ve gotten past the opening questions, ask your introvert date about their thoughts on issues that they hold close to their hearts. Tell them about your experiences and what you learned as a result.
These topics of conversation may feel ‘too heavy’ to you but they are more than welcome to your introvert date.
4) Introverts need time to think before they speak
Introverts spend a good deal of their time thinking and tend to be careful with what they say in order not to cause offense or confusion.
Encourage them to share their thoughts with you by asking open-ended questions like, “What do you think about [topic]?” or “Why do you think [incident] resulted in this?” Then, give them some time to formulate an answer.
Most introverts appreciate the question, “Do you need some time to think about it?” in the midst of a fast-paced conversation. It shows that you value their input and that you care about what they have to say.
5) Introverts aren’t shy. They just take longer to warm up to new environments or with new people.
Introverts tend to be more affected by external stimuli because they are more sensitive to the chemicals that the body produces when stressed or excited. As a result, they tend to be more cautious when it comes to novel experiences and/or strangers.
Reassure your introvert date as you ease them into a new situation or when they are meeting you for the first time.
Let them observe and explore at their own pace and they will eventually feel more comfortable and open up to you.
They will also be grateful to you for your consideration and patience.