introverts

Dating an Introvert Isn't Difficult. Just Follow These 5 Tips.

1) Introverts enjoy socialising – just with fewer people and for shorter durations.

Introverts aren’t shy and they don’t dislike people. They simply generate energy by being on their own, the complete opposite of extroverts, who become energised when they are around other people.

Because introverts get drained when socialising, they slowly lose the ability to filter out excess external stimuli and, consequently, become less and less engaged as they tire out. This has the effect of making them seem quieter and quieter as the date goes on.

To counteract this, bring your date away from the bustling crowds and let them recharge somewhere quiet and relaxing. Give them some space and time to be quiet and they’ll be better soon, with the added bonus of them being grateful for your understanding..

Couple By Lake

2) Introverts do better in quieter, less crowded environments.

Introverts are more sensitive to environmental stimuli. As such, they can get overwhelmed when subject to noise, bright lights and too many people.

Plan dates with introverts in less crowded venues, where they won’t have to jostle with others or listen to loud chatter.

If you are planning to bring them somewhere stimulating, like a carnival, large festival or party, let them decide when it’s time to leave. When they do exercise the option, leave with them promptly.

3) Introverts prefer deep discussions to casual talk

One of the pet peeves of introverts everywhere is small talk. They find it tedious, boring and useless for the purposes of getting to know someone better. At best, they put up with it but few, if any, enjoy it.

Once you’ve gotten past the opening questions, ask your introvert date about their thoughts on issues that they hold close to their hearts. Tell them about your experiences and what you learned as a result.

These topics of conversation may feel ‘too heavy’ to you but they are more than welcome to your introvert date.

Couple On Pier

4) Introverts need time to think before they speak

Introverts spend a good deal of their time thinking and tend to be careful with what they say in order not to cause offense or confusion.

Encourage them to share their thoughts with you by asking open-ended questions like, “What do you think about [topic]?” or “Why do you think [incident] resulted in this?” Then, give them some time to formulate an answer.

Most introverts appreciate the question, “Do you need some time to think about it?” in the midst of a fast-paced conversation. It shows that you value their input and that you care about what they have to say.

5) Introverts aren’t shy. They just take longer to warm up to new environments or with new people.

Introverts tend to be more affected by external stimuli because they are more sensitive to the chemicals that the body produces when stressed or excited. As a result, they tend to be more cautious when it comes to novel experiences and/or strangers.

Reassure your introvert date as you ease them into a new situation or when they are meeting you for the first time.

Let them observe and explore at their own pace and they will eventually feel more comfortable and open up to you.

They will also be grateful to you for your consideration and patience.

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Is It Wise to Share Your Thoughts Online?

The great thing about having your own space online is that you can write whatever you want!

Well, that’s not quite true.

Even though we’ve carved a space out, it never really belongs to us.

Furthermore, it’s still visible to others.

And that visibility forces us to censor ourselves.

As such, there are certain things that I would NEVER talk about online.

Not out of fear of what others might say, but simply out of a sort of understanding. That this will never be a truly ‘safe’ zone.

So where do I go to express those thoughts?

When I talk to someone I can trust.

Or I simply pen them down (yes, with a real pen) on paper (yes, real paper).

I HIGHLY recommend the writing option.

That said, I’m sharing these thoughts online.

Hmm…

Quietly Leaving Your Mark: Personal Branding for Introverts

[To my fellow introverts:]

Like you, I struggle with the dilemma of deciding between being known and having a quiet, private life.

Note the present tense. I still do.

What I learned is this: 
In order to have the quiet, private life that I want, I must first be able to provide for it.

Yes, I’m talking about the 3rd most taboo subject: Money.

Let’s get real.

You need a fair bit of change to live in the most expensive city in the world (according to The Economist Intelligence Unit - EIU). As do I.

Prime opportunities go to those who are at the top of their field. If you’re not up there with them, you’re getting second-rate projects that they rejected or were never going to enter their field of vision anyway.

What that means for you is that you are fighting with a lot of people for very little gain.

Is that really how you want to live out the rest of your life?

This is my perspective.

I’m done being passed over for meaningful projects that I know I’ll be great at, which instead got handed to the loudest person in the room.

I’m tired of being treated as if I’m slow or invisible during unnecessarily raucous meetings and ‘brainstorming’ sessions.

I have had it with people wondering whether I’m good at what I do just because I take time to think rather than talk constantly and offer information they may or may not want.

This is why I built my personal brand around who I am and what I wish to achieve.

It required a lot of thought and a lot of work, but I am on my way to leading the life I want to lead. It’s going to be a journey, and I’m glad that I have friends along for the ride. (You guys know who you are!)

If this is a journey you have heard of but haven’t embarked upon, I encourage you to take the first step and start building your personal brand.

If you’re concerned that you don’t know what to do or which direction to head, it’s alright. You don’t have to go it alone. We can be your guides and show you the way.

Join me and my friend Eugene Seah on the 10th of July (it’s a Tuesday) from 7 pm to 10 pm at Synergy Hub @ 45 Middle Road #06-00, a mere 5 minute walk from Bugis MRT station.

I will be showing you how you, too, can quietly leave your mark on the world and those around you.

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